Emoji Evil
by coolkid32
Summary: Ah, the joys of instant messaging. Whether you're a mole for a secret bioweapon manufacturer or a hapless employee of a corrupt police force, there's no shortage of happy madness in Raccoon City.
1. Chum Bucket

_AirForceDude1972 has signed on_

 _GalWithAGl0ck has signed on_

AirForceDude1972: That you, Jill?

GalWithAGl0ck: Last time I checked, Christopher. :P

AirForceDude1972: LOL. Nice username.

GalWithAGl0ck: Ah, you know. It was that or "LockpickersAnonymousForTheWin", which is far more unwieldy.

AirForceDude1972: I can imagine.

AirForceDude1972: …

AirForceDude1972: Soooooooooo…

GalWithAGl0ck: I'm still not forgiving you for the Christmas party.

AirForceDude1972: Oh, c'mon. It was a LITTLE funny, you have to admit.

GalWithAGl0ck: Do you see me laughing?

AirForceDude1972: Well, I can't see you through the Internet, Jill, now can I?

AirForceDude1972: How was I supposed to know Captain Wesker would flip out like that?

GalWithAGl0ck: You. Rigged. His office door. With a bucket of chum.

AirForceDude1972: And it was amazing. I can still smell the stuff on him. Worth it.

GalWithAGl0ck: Yeah, well, you're still going to buy me a desk chair to replace the one he threw out the window.

AirForceDude1972: Did you see that thing fly? It bounced right across the street!

GalWithAGl0ck: … Jackass.

AirForceDude1972: I'm sorry.

AirForceDude1972: …

AirForceDude1972: Jill?

 _GalWithAGl0ck has signed off._

AirForceDude1972: JIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLL?

AirForceDude1972: … You're no fun.


	2. Kittens

_*CLASSIFIED01* has signed on_

 _awesker has signed on_

*CLASSIFIED01*: Wesker.

*CLASSIFIED01*: Hey, Wesker.

*CLASSIFIED01*: Albert, I have all night.

awesker: ...Yes, Birkin?

*CLASSIFIED01*: Did you get the images I sent you?

awesker: I was just about to check my email.

awesker: Let's see… viral samples, very good… test subjects… and a kitten.

*CLASSIFIED01*: Isn't it such an adorable kitten? Sherry saw it at a shop window today.

awesker: It is… certainly a kitten.

*CLASSIFIED01*: I'm going to surprise her with it on her birthday. Great idea, right?

awesker: Sure. Birkin, how long before the test results for G are prepped?

*CLASSIFIED01*: A week, week and a half. Anyway-

awesker: What!?

*CLASSIFIED01*: I've been thinking about the decorations for Sherry's party. Do you think the colour theme should be gold and white, or blue and black?

awesker: Birkin, I don't honestly give a shit about your daughter or her obsession with furred creatures. The G-virus is our ticket out of Umbrella. We need it done ASAP.

*CLASSIFIED01*: Albert, Albert, you're too high-strung. You need to chill out, smoke a joint every now and then. Take it easy. It'll be done when it's done.

awesker: That is an idiotic expression conjured by half-wits with no ambition or self-awareness.

*CLASSIFIED01*: -_- My wife and I say it all the time.

awesker: She's a lovely woman.

*CLASSIFIED01*: Look, I'll see what I can do to speed things along. Can you promise me you'll make it for Sherry's party?

awesker: Fine. Shall I assume I am to bring a gift for the little… angel?


	3. Silent Treatment

_GalWithAGl0ck has signed on._

 _MasterOfRevolver60 has signed on._

GalWithAGl0ck: Barry, I assume that's you.

GalWithAGl0ck: …

GalWithAGl0ck: …

GalWithAGl0ck: Okay, what's up? Why the silent treatment?

 _MasterOfRevolver60 has signed off._

GalWithAGl0ck: The fuck?

 _MasterOfRevolver60 has signed on._

GalWithAGl0ck: Barry, what's going on over on your end?

 _MasterOfRevolver60 has signed off._

 _MasterOfRevolver60 has signed on._

GalWithAGl0ck: Okay, that's it! I'm coming over to check on you.

MasterOfRevolver60: sorry jill. tRying to figure out this damn computer. kEeps asking me to update my software. asdghjaskdgkj

GalWithAGl0ck: You alright, Barry? Having an old man moment? :D

MasterOfRevolver60: hey, im not exactLy walking about in cRutches.

GalWithAGl0ck: LOL. Tell me when the hot flashes kick in - I want pictures.

 _MasterOfRevolver60 has signed off._

 _MasterOfRevolver60 has signed on._

 _MasterOfRevolver60 has signed off._

 _MasterOfRevolver60 has signed on._

 _MasterOfRevolver60 has signed off._

GalWithAGl0ck: Oh for fuck's sake.


	4. Orientation

_StayFrosty98 has signed on._

 _CoolGuyKenneth has signed on._

 _AirForceDude1972 has signed on._

 _NurseBeccaOfYore has signed on._

StayFrosty98: ONE OF US, ONE OF US, ONE OF US!

CoolGuyKenneth: Enough, Joe. It was funny the first time. Not the millionth.

StayFrosty98: I'm just fooling 'round, Kenny. CHILLLLLLLL… get it, chill? Like, my name's Frost and I'm telling you to calm down.

CoolGuyKenneth: I get the joke. Just waiting for it to be funny.

AirForceDude1972: Alright guys, let's give Rebecca a break - it's her first day. I hope these two yahoos haven't been giving you too much trouble?

NurseBeccaOfYore: No, no, it's okay. You've all been so nice and so accommodating.

StayFrosty98: YAHOOS!? Mr. Redfield, I am insulted. I am the finest class of n'er-do-well this side of New Jersey. How dare you make such a claim? That's it, you're not invited to my annual St. Patrick's Day party.

CoolGuyKenneth: He's not missing much, Joe. Beyond you trying miserably to pick up drunk chicks at hole-in-the-wall bars and getting kicked in the gonads, that is.

StayFrosty98: That happened ONE time. And only because I insinuated that the guy sitting next to her was her boyfriend.

CoolGuyKenneth: Let's call it what it is. She was black, the other dude was black, and that's why you thought they were together.

StayFrosty98: They were sitting close together. I didn't even read race into the situation.

CoolGuyKenneth: Uh-huh. Keep telling yourself that, racist.

StayFrosty98: Come on, man. Dude. Buddy. I love black people. I have black friends.

CoolGuyKenneth: Like…?

StayFrosty98: Well you, for one. That chick working at Domino's. The guy on Main Street, working the car wash.

CoolGuyKenneth: Car wash guy's Latino.

StayFrosty98: Same difference, right?

 _CoolGuyKenneth has signed off._

StayFrosty98: Uh… guys. Kenneth just got up from his desk. He's coming towards me.

AirForceDude1972: We can see, Joe.

StayFrosty98: I don't like the look in his eyes.

StayFrosty98: Please, help maeaklfnjksdfnjksadbnfjkasdbnfjksbndfjksjk.

 _StayFrosty98 has signed off._

AirForceDude1972: Wow. I have not seen a throttling like that in ages.

NurseBeccaOfYore: Does stuff like this happen often?

AirForceDude1972: You'd be surprised.


	5. Party Planning Committee

_awesker has signed on._

 _ChiefIronsRPD has signed on._

awesker: I'm not doing it.

ChiefIronsRPD: No choice in the matter, Wesker.

awesker: Irons, they don't deserve a celebration. It was one drug bust.

ChiefIronsRPD: Done without harming the hostages inside OR killing the dealers.

awesker: They smashed through a door to do it.

ChiefIronsRPD: Doors can be replaced. Redfield and Frost did well, face it. AND, might I add, it makes all of us look mighty likeable and newsworthy - making for a nice little diversion from that Arklay Mountains business.

awesker: This is neither the time nor place to discuss confidential matters.

ChiefIronsRPD: Don't matter how you feel. You're giving them a party, and that's final.

awesker: And if certain parties were to catch wind of this?

ChiefIronsRPD: They'd agree with me. Don't try to weasel your way out of this, Captain.

ChiefIronsRPD: There's no proof they were responsible for that chum prank.

awesker: Bullshit. It has Redfield's stench all over it.

ChiefIronsRPD: Maybe, maybe not. But I've heard whispers about those disappearing hikers and the press are getting restless. We need this to buy YOUR superiors time to get into motion.

awesker: OUR superiors. Or have you forgotten the generous donations made to your personal funds?

ChiefIronsRPD: Tomato, toe-mato. Unless they're suddenly willing to intervene, this kind of face-saving stuff is going to be half your job from now on - meaning Redfield and Frost get their day in the spotlight.

awesker: Fine. But this matter is not done.

ChiefIronsRPD: Hardly expected as much with you.


	6. Package

_*CLASSIFIED01* has signed on_

 _AnnetteBirkin has signed on._

*CLASSIFIED01*: Honey, I'm in the midst of running tests on the latest batch of G. Can I help you with something?

AnnetteBirkin: For starters, you can tell me why we received a package from Nicaragua marked "High-Grade Material".

*CLASSIFIED01*: Ah. My package.

AnnetteBirkin: William, this isn't another "surprise" box of joints laced with LSD, is it?

*CLASSIFIED01*: No, no, I've learned from the mistakes of that Halloween. No, THIS package is cocaine.

AnnetteBirkin: You can't see it, but I've just facepalmed.

AnnetteBirkin: Why the HELL would you purchase what feels like 10 pounds of cocaine, AND BRING IT INTO OUR HOUSE!? WITH OUR TWELVE-YEAR OLD CHILD, who I might add looked at it and asked, "Mommy, why does it smell like stinky perfume?"

*CLASSIFIED01*: I'd had no intention of keeping it at the house. I figured since we have to buckle down to get G finished, we might need a little… kickstart of the mental processes.

AnnetteBirkin: So, what? We're going to take a line before lunch every day? Shove our faces into coke till our faces turn purple?

*CLASSIFIED01*: Come off it, Annette. We'll only use it 'till G is done.

AnnetteBirkin: I'm just not sure about this. I've heard stories about people neglecting their personal care, their home life, even their HYGIENE, when they're high on this stuff.

*CLASSIFIED01*: A line a day. I've run the calculations, we have the equipment to measure and monitor it. Trust me, okay?

AnnetteBirkin: ...Ugh. Alright. Just promise me you'll get Sherry a sitter - I can't imagine we'll be in the best state of mind to care for her.

*CLASSIFIED01*: Ah, we'll bring her in with us and tell her we're testing a new brand of coffee. Everything will be fine. You'll see.


	7. Guns for Days

_MasterOfRevolver60 has signed on._

 _MariniMan has signed on._

MariniMan: So, like I was saying, there I was on my beat, when some punk comes crashing through the storefront window of a bakery - a BAKERY of all things! - waving around this little Beretta 70 and screaming "I am Jesus! I am Jesus!".

MasterOfRevolver60: No kidding.

MariniMan: Yeah. And I'm sitting in my car, thinking to myself, "Christ, kid. You'd at least be better off getting a higher caliber of gun before proclaiming yourself the messiah."

MasterOfRevolver60: Ha ha ha. Kid shoulda had my Colt, now THAT would make a statement.

MariniMan: Ah yes, the Anaconda. Fine gun - though I'm curious why you didn't spring for the Python. Not a fan of handcrafted firearms?

MasterOfRevolver60: Are you serious? I have a Python hanging over my fireplace, just shined it this morning.

MariniMan: Now that I'd have to see. So what is it then?

MasterOfRevolver60: For my money, a good-quality sidearm shouldn't be shaking from recoil or slow to fire. Bit heavier than others, but the Anaconda makes up for it where it counts.

MariniMan: People could say the same 'bout the Python.

MasterOfRevolver60: Eh, I prefer a gun with a bit more weight to it. Feels right.

MariniMan: Can't argue with that. Gotta say, I'm impressed you got us that deal with the Kendos.

MasterOfRevolver60: Oh, that? Wasn't much to it - we go back a ways, I called in a favour, nothing complicated.

MariniMan: I'm liking the feel of these Samurai Edge pistols, beautiful construction, lots of potential for modification.

MasterOfRevolver60: Yeah, Joe outdid himself. I'm thinking of tinkering with mine, just to see if it can fire .40 caliber bullets.

MariniMan: Good ol' Barry Burton, trying to turn everything into a revolver. I can only imagine what Kathy thinks of this.

MasterOfRevolver60: I think she gets a kick out of me showing off my latest modifications - though she's worried that the kids might get into the gun collection and hurt themselves.

MariniMan: Ah, she worries too much. They're old enough to know not to fuck around with firearms. Right?

MasterOfRevolver60: All I know is, when I was their age all I wanted to do was learn to shoot my old man's Winchester.

MariniMan: Now THAT takes me back.

MariniMan: Shit, looked at the clock - almost quittin' time. Continue this conversation at Jack's Bar?

MasterOfRevolver60: You buying?

MariniMan: Tell me more about that Winchester and we'll see.

 _MasterOfRevolver60 has signed off._

 _MariniMan has signed off._


	8. Omen

_WilliamBirkinChampOfChamps has signed on._

 _awesker has signed on._

awesker: Birkin. Was just about to check in, but I have to ask: what has prompted you to change your username?

WilliamBirkinChampOfChamps: Oh Albert Albert Albert. Been meaning to talk to you, been busy doing my very best on that super-duper-scooper secret G-VIRUS work cause I know you said we're in a rush cause we need that for "THE ORGANIZATION" to take us "SERIOUSLY" about "STUFF" and "THINGS" but I just had a thought had a thought thought - WHY DON'T WE START BRANDING OUR JOINT RESEARCH? You know, book deals, t-shirts and logos, conferences on synergy and shit like that. AWESOMESAUCE, HAPPINESS, AND GOOD TIMES FOR ALL! WOO! … do you smell burning.

awesker: … Birkin, I don't know what's come over you, and frankly I don't care. How are you progressing on G?

WilliamBirkinChampOfChamps: You don't understand good buddy. I can see THE UNIVERSE, the trees, the grass, the SHERRY SHUT UP DADDY IS VERY BUSY WORKING ON SPECIAL GROWN UP WORK NOW GO COLOUR IN THE CORNER.

awesker: …

awesker: …

awesker: What.

WilliamBirkinChampOfChamps: So like I was saying - what do you want for lunch? There's pudding that looks like chocolate but I'm told it's walnut watermelon. GRAPENUTS!

awesker: Well, you've successfully left me at a loss for words, Birkin.

L33chQu33n: That makes two of us.

WilliamBirkinChampOfChamps: The fuck?

awesker: This is a private corporate communication. Identify yourself.

L33chQu33n: What're you going to do, riddle me with bullets? I'm afraid that won't work this time, my former student.

awesker: I say again. Identify yourself and leave this communication, or there will be grave consequences for you.

L33chQu33n: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

L33chQu33n: I'm beyond your power, Albert. I look forward to watching you and your own slowly fall apart from my machinations.

WilliamBirkinChampOfChamps: Al, old buddy, I'm trippin' hard right about now. What's he going on about?

awesker: Quiet, Birkin.

awesker: Whoever you are, L33chQu33n, know that you have trifled with the wrong people. I ask only once more: Who are you, and what is your intent?

L33chQu33n: LOL. For proteges so skilled in the art of having your mentor slaughtered, you both sure are slow to the uptake.

WilliamBirkinChampOfChamps: HOW CAN HE KNOW THAT, WESKER? *i never Told anyone.

awesker: I have no recollection of the event of which you speak.

L33chQu33n: Of course you don't. Just like you don't know that wee little Birkin's thesis was on controlled genetic mutation - the precursor to your precious G-Virus. Or that poor little Wesker, with his ruminations on human advancement through precise gene therapy, impressed me such that I took him under my wing to work on the T-Virus.

WilliamBirkinChampOfChamps: You can't be. DOCTOR MARCUS!?

L33chQu33n: Indeed. Thank you for arriving aboard the train of thought, Mr. Birkin. We look forward to your continuing patronage.

awesker: Unlikely. Marcus has been dead for ten years. You're merely an imposter using the name of a long-disgraced corpse.

L33chQu33n: Words hurt, don't you know? I bet you're just angry because my continued existence means you've failed at something - and failure just can't exist in the eyes of Spencer's favourite pet, can it?

awesker: Look at you, flailing around like the worthless scum that you are. Tell me, then: if you truly are the late James Marcus, why have you only now re-emerged?

L33chQu33n: It's quite simple, really - to ensure I have my revenge. Now. At this pivotal moment.

L33chQu33n: At least, that's my impression from Birkin's ongoing chain of emails with the United States government, about trading secrets for security.

WilliamBirkinChampOfChamps: WHAT NO NO NO NO NO NO! LIES! ALL LIES!

L33chQu33n: And based on your sneering in that cramped little mid-town apartment, Wesker, I'd gather your own little plans are on the verge of success.

awesker: Listen to me, because I will say this only once. Whatever presumptions you have about making these accusations, whatever you hope to gain, it. Will. Fail. And I will be the one to stand over your pathetic excuse for a corpse - whether you ARE Marcus or not - and I will laugh. Because nothing amuses me more than utter, unadulterated stupidity in the face of TRUE genius.

L33chQu33n: So much posturing, hiding such dysfunction. I'm almost sad about how much I plan to enjoy breaking you AND your precious Umbrella, if only because I see such effort wasted in you.

L33chQu33n: Have a good evening, gentlemen :p. And sleep while you can…

 _ERROR: L33chQu33n disconnected. Reason: User profile does not exist._

WilliamBirkinChampOfChamps: No, no, no, no, no. What're we going to do? He knows where we live, he watches us. HES IN THE WALLS!

awesker: Birkin, pull it together. Whatever this was, it will not halt our plans. Continue with your experiments, and let me worry about the rest.

WilliamBirkinChampOfChamps: Fine, FINE, FINE! Get off my back, PANCAKES!

awesker: … Get some air first. You've been in that lab too long.

awesker: Oh, and Birkin? We WILL be having a discussion about your chosen associates.

WilliamBirkinChampOfChamps: FU-


	9. New Emojis

_The date is June 29th, 1998. It is 1:14 PM CST._

 _AirForceDude1972 has signed on._

 _GalWithAGl0ck has signed on._

 _NurseBeccaOfYore has signed on._

 _StayFrosty98 has signed on._

 _CoolGuyKenneth has signed on._

 _MariniMan has signed on._

 _DoTheDeweyEdward has signed on._

 _MasterOfRevolver60 has signed on._

StayFrosty98: Whoa. Hey guys, check it out. There's a time and date thingy now.

GalWithAGl0ck: "Thingy"? Are you twelve years old?

StayFrosty98: Ooh, ooh, ooh! New emojis! ;( ;) :^)

MasterOfRevolver60: E-whats? What's with the semi-colons and brackets?

MariniMan: Honestly, I stopped following what the kids were into right around the time Pac-Man was a thing.

NurseBeccaOfYore: Aww… there's a little hug emoji. Here, Joseph. (hug)

StayFrosty98: That's the spirit, Becca. (hug)

AirForceDude1972: Lemme get in on that hugging action, you two. (hug)

MasterOfRevolver60: I think my machine is broken. All I'm seeing are words and symbols.

DoTheDeweyEdward: Tough luck, Barry. Guess I gotta hug them for the both of us. (hug) (hug)

CoolGuyKenneth: Hey, don't forget 'bout me, guys. (hug)

NurseBeccaOfYore: Never in a million years. (hug)

StayFrosty98: Not even if you died horribly, buddy. (hug)

AirForceDude1972: Wow, Joe. Way to make it dark.

CoolGuyKenneth: Yeah, man. WTF?

StayFrosty98: C'mon guys, I'm just saying… statistically speaking, in terms of street violence…

DoTheDeweyEdward: (facepalm) Oh lord.

NurseBeccaOfYore: :O

GalWithAGl0ck: Nope.

AirForceDude1972: Seriously, Joe!?

StayFrosty98: Really? It's not like I said Ken would be mauled by a flesh-eating monster or something. It's just… you know… what with the LA riots. I'm just thinking of his safety!

CoolGuyKenneth: Frost, I may slap you upside the head someday. You realize that, right?

StayFrosty98: -_- Uh-huh. Cause a black man hitting a white dude's gonna go over SOOOO well.

 _CoolGuyKenneth has signed off._

StayFrosty98: Oh, not aga-

 _StayFrosty98 has signed off._

AirForceDude1972: Aaaaaaand… they're having a slap fight.

GalWithAGl0ck: Huh. Guess Joe really IS twelve years old.

AirForceDude1972: LOL

DoTheDeweyEdward: Anyone wanna go wake Forrest and tell him to intervene?

NurseBeccaOfYore: (sigh) I got this one.

 _NurseBeccaOfYore has signed off._

MasterOfRevolver60: Okay, can someone help me out? Because my computer's asking me to "update sound drivers" and my mouse is acting up.

DoTheDeweyEdward: And that's my cue.

 _DoTheDeweyEdward has signed off._

 _MasterOfRevolver60 has signed off._

AirForceDude1972: And then there were three.

MariniMan: Two, actually. I'm taking a long lunch, gonna check in with my kids. See you when the action dies down.

 _MariniMan has signed off._

AirForceDude1972: So… how's it going, Jill?

GalWithAGl0ck: Eh, can't complain too much. Still working the dents out of my chair, though.

AirForceDude1972: Just won't let that one go, will ya?

GalWithAGl0ck: Maybe, maybe not. )

AirForceDude1972: Well. Perhaps a little wine and dinner between colleagues might sway you?

GalWithAGl0ck: Christopher Redfield, are you insinuating that you'd like to go on a, gasp, date?

AirForceDude1972: Maybe, maybe not. Only one way to be sure.

GalWithAGl0ck: :D

GalWithAGl0ck: Dammit. You're so adorable when you play coy like that.

AirForceDude1972: Only then? Aww… Guess I gotta keep working at it, my sweet Valentine.

GalWithAGl0ck: :) Okay, you've already won. No need to make me blush any more.

AirForceDude1972: I disagree. Your blush is too beautiful to hide.

awesker has signed on.

awesker: Hate to interrupt whatever conversation you were having, but I'd like an explanation as to why Frost and Sullivan are being pulled away from each other AND why Burton is shouting unbecoming obscenities at his computer.

GalWithAGl0ck: Sorry, Captain. It's… been one of those days.

AirForceDude1972: All because of some new emojis.

awesker: I see. Well, meet in my office ASAP. We need to go over some changes to the Fire Safety plan.

 _GalWithAGl0ck has signed off._

 _AirForceDude1972 has signed off._

awesker: New emojis, huh? :^)

awesker: ...I may almost miss this.


	10. Help

_The date is July 19th, 1998. It is 8:58 PM CST._

 _JohnToleman_UmbrellaR &D has signed on._

 _awesker has signed on._

awesker: Toleman, did I not specifically state that you were not to make outward calls or communications? What is so urgent you needed to break silence?

JohnToleman_UmbrellaR&D: Oh, I don't know, maybe the impending death of everyone in this FUCKING lab.

awesker: Excuse me?

awesker: You are speaking to a superior. I do not appreciate your disrespectful tone.

JohnToleman_UmbrellaR&D: Chain of command went out the window when the outbreak started.

JohnToleman_UmbrellaR&D: I've had to watch colleagues and friends get ripped to shreds, kill themselves, or just tune out of reality waiting for the end to come.

JohnToleman_UmbrellaR&D: I bet you don't even know some of their names - like Clemens. John Clemens. I haven't seen him in days, did you know he had a girlfriend? And The Keeper, Thompson - he went feral, ate Scott right in the middle of the floor. Or Martin? He just couldn't take it anymore.

awesker: All necessary sacrifices to ensure our prize survives. Is the Tyrant intact?

JohnToleman_UmbrellaR&D: Are. You. Fucking. Kidding me. Did you not hear me? The research team's toast up here. Anyone still standing is holed up, praying for dear life.

JohnToleman_UmbrellaR&D: I can't use the mansion's balconies to escape because there's these killer fucking crows hanging about. And the ground floor exists are a no-go because a whole group of Cerberus got loose - they're hanging around the woods.

JohnToleman_UmbrellaR&D: It's over. It's done. All we can do now is get the fuck out of dodge and isolate this area. So at the risk of sounding insubordinate, SIR, where is the goddamn exfil team?

awesker: … You want the truth, Toleman?

awesker: I've ceased caring about you. About your team. About Umbrella, even. I grow tired of Spencer's shackles, and of this incessant need to protect the corporate interest.

awesker: THIS is my new beginning. The start of my rise to power.

awesker: As one of my final COURTESIES, I'm obliged to inform you that there will BE no exfiltration. As far as the highest members of Umbrella's board are concerned, everyone in the Arklay Laboratory is dead. The mansion and grounds are to be scuttled immediately after the final test data for the Tyrant has been obtained.

awesker: So once more I ask: what is the status of the Tyrant?

JohnToleman_UmbrellaR&D: … It's still contained in its tank. The computer's running diagnostics, but it'll be ready for on-site testing within the week.

awesker: Excellent. On behalf of the Umbrella Corporation, I thank you for your diligence and loyalty.

JohnToleman_UmbrellaR&D: You bastard.

awesker: Indeed


	11. Prelude to the Mansion

_The date is July 23rd, 1998. It is 9:50 PM CST._

 _AirForceDude1972 has signed on._

 _GalWithAGl0ck has signed on._

 _NurseBeccaOfYore has signed on._

NurseBeccaOfYore: Hey guys. Kinda busy here.

GalWithAGl0ck: Yeah, Barry told us. Bravo Team's heading out soon?

NurseBeccaOfYore: Yep. 10 minutes out. We're gonna sweep the mountains in the backup helicopter.

GalWithAGl0ck: Why the backup chopper?

NurseBeccaOfYore: Captain Wesker mentioned something about repairs before he went off. That's all I know.

AirForceDude1972: Makes sense. He's had his plate full with trying to get us a new espresso maker from Chief Irons.

GalWithAGl0ck: Be serious, Chris.

AirForceDude1972: I AM being serious. Espresso is delicious. And how else would I get that signature spring in my step?

GalWithAGl0ck: (facepalm)

NurseBeccaOfYore: :D

AirForceDude1972: I wouldn't pay it much mind, Becca. This whole thing with the missing hikers and the murders in town, all of it's odd - best we can do is keep our chins up and hope for the best.

NurseBeccaOfYore: :) Thank you both for the concern. I'll be alright.

NurseBeccaOfYore: Okay, really have to go now. Edward's getting a bit antsy.

AirForceDude1972: Good luck.

GalWithAGl0ck: Be safe.

NurseBeccaOfYore: Don't worry, guys. It's just another investigation, right?

 _NurseBeccaOfYore has signed off._

* * *

 **To be continued in Emoji Evil Volume II**...


End file.
